Accountant jokes

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A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day's work.

After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:

"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet.
Credits in the column toward the window."

Rating: 2.8 |

Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

Rating: 3.2 |

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
"What kind of answer did you have in mind?"
Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget.

Rating: 1.8 |

What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Rating: 1.6 |

What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

Rating: 3.4 |

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