Accountant jokes

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What's an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

Rating: 1.8 |

Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ?
A: None-just assume it's changed.

Rating: 1.6 |

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated
to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed:
"Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".
The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown
had a name.
The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown,
but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."

Rating: 2.4 |

The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for.

"Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

"Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometres, say a Mercedes convertible."

The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?"

"Yeah. But you started it."

Rating: 3.4 |

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"How do you mean?" says the accountant.

"I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."

"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"

"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.

"Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"

"That," says the man, "is your first worry."

Rating: 3.4 |

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